


Friend or foe?

by Yuuko_Ichihara



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Book Spoilers, F/M, First time?, My neighbors wouldn't let me sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-25 09:49:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/951660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuuko_Ichihara/pseuds/Yuuko_Ichihara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Events take place after A Dance with Dragons. Jaime accidentally finds out about Brienne's lie and he coerces her to tell him the truth.</p><p>In partly filling #68 and #75 from the jaimebrienne Ficathon</p>
            </blockquote>





	Friend or foe?

**Author's Note:**

> This is, partly, what I wish somehow happens in the next book.

Stubbornly they advanced, despite the difficulty they walked and walked and walked.

Underneath their feet there was only a mixture of mud, stones and some branches. The sounds that followed them were only those of the water dripping from leaves to ground and the mud yielding to their feet. Fallen branches were scattered on the ground, some near and some far yet all of them too wet to be of any use.

As she turned to the left with a sudden jerk a drop fell from her ugly nose to the ground. Her eyes analyzed the forest in stern silence. He was growing weary of that odd silence.

They had ridden and ridden for hours already and only after he insisted enough had she nodded in agreement to search for a shelter.

Soon the sun would set and their long ride had tired not only their horses but themselves as well. They removed their armor but he observed she kept her sword so he kept his as well. The moment she left her horse inside the cave, she turned to watch him and announced she would search for wood. It had been the only words she had uttered since she requested him to join her in an alleged quest for Sansa Stark. Yet her silence and tenseness indicated that there might be another reason behind her peculiar behavior. She was badly wounded, he could tell by her irregular walk and her cheek seemed to have been assaulted by a rabid dog. There was much he wanted to know but her silence wasn't the only wall that divided them. Her mind seemed to be too preoccupied with invisible worries. Curiously he found himself missing those days when she still called him by that unflattering name, at least that time she said something to him.

Gingerly, he followed her. The mud gave up under her weight with a mushy sound and her footprints were marked with each step she took.

Suddenly she turned left and held her hand towards him. Of course she had noticed his presence. It was expected yet it surprised and annoyed him in equal measure. He gave a step towards her and she insisted in him remaining where he was. Stubbornly he gave two steps towards her and fast, faster than a big woman such as herself should be able to move, she grabbed him and pressed him against a tree. With one of her big hands she covered his mouth while the other held his shoulder. He reached for his hidden dagger but she made no further movement and only coerced him to remain quiet with silent gestures. A group of men, four men, with ragged clothes and filthy as if they hadn't been able to bathe in a moon's turn were advancing in the nearby road. Their steps dragged on until they reached enough distance so that their conversation was understandable.

 

"-whore should have came back already" said the first one.

"They have surely run together, maybe eloped” said another

"maybe they are fucking behind those trees” indicated a third one. And for a strange reason he held his dagger tighter.

Yet they didn't approach, instead they roared in an uproarious laughter. Curiously, he felt offended as if they were talking about him and he noticed that Brienne was turning slightly red.

"The kingslayer and his ugly whore, such a lovely sight, that bitch kept screaming his name, maybe when she cuts his head she will scream his name again" said the fourth one in between burst of laughter. Both Brienne and him tensed. So, they _were_ talking about them. A rush of confused emotions washed through him. He turned to stare at Brienne yet she was avoiding his eyes. She concentrated on those men instead.

“Like that little boy will scream hers once we hang him” said the first one laughing. The other laughed again and continued walking. The rest of their conversation was no longer understandable.

 

Their footsteps were soon lost and confused with the sounds of the forest. They had left. Brienne and Jaime stood hidden and tensed. Jaime's eyes were staring straight to Brienne's face. She wouldn't meet his eyes. Despite the cold her face was still warm and even as the sun was dying he could perceive the crimson red in her cheeks.

Minutes stirred and died in their continued rigidity and silence. The tenseness of her body slowly receded and she released him. She kept walking as if nothing had happened. After grabbing some logs she directed her steps towards their shelter. The storm had ended in the forest yet not inside Jaime.

His father was dead, killed by a brother that detested him. A brother he had released betraying the sister he had taken as lover from a very young age. The same sister that no longer cared about him, perhaps have never cared about him. The same beautiful woman that had betrayed him thousand of times without him knowing or suspecting about it. That woman that was now a stranger to him. Only when in distress had she written to him, expecting to be saved by him. In a fit of rage he had burned the letter. And now her... the one he trusted, the one person he thought would be truthful, the honest Brienne of Tarth. She had also lied to him, she was also as treacherous as the others. What was she plotting? Did she honestly believe that he would gladly go to his death now that he knew the truth? Why did she kept quiet?

All the lies, all the fretful deceits he had just suffered were suffocating him. And just when he thought he was finally going to rectify the wrongdoings in his life she came. Not to help him to grab hold of his last chance of honor. No. To kill him like a bandit. He felt hers was the worst of all the treasons he had suffered. She, who valued her word thought so little of him to feed him lies and take him away to be executed like the lowest rat. Without explanations, excuses or even anger. Just silence. Anger boiled inside him and he wanted to hit her, crush her, call her _wench_ , offend her, anything to exact his revenge, to make her react, to force her to talk to him. He thought she believed in him, she had even called him “Ser” with a grave voice.

“ _...I will find the girl and keep her safe. For her lady mother’s sake. And for yours.”_

had said she, solemnly before bowing and leaving him, that last time he saw her.

Was he so sullied in her eyes she could slay him without even trying to justify her actions? Blinded by rage he held his dagger with his left hand and making her turn he proceeded to push her to the entrance of the cave with his golden hand. He pressed her with his body and held his dagger to her neck. The logs fell from her hands and rolled towards the horses.It might be foolish to produce that much noise in a forest full of foes yet he couldn't find it in himself to care. At that moment, her greatest foe was right in front of him.

“Speak, wench, and it better be the truth now. Explain yourself” he spat.

Unexpectedly he felt sorry for her, her face and eyes showed such sadness and pain he felt the urge to release her and held her. He fought that silly urge and kept the blade near her skin. She had to believe he was seriously considering hurting her.

“Ser Jaime...” began she, but she chocked and closed her eyes fiercely, as if staring at him was painful to her. It only annoyed him more.

“Speak, I say, and look at me when I talk to you” commanded him. Time and practice had made him better at using his left hand yet he still wasn't in the best of shapes. Unintentionally, he cut a bottom of her jerkin, exposing in part her neck.

She mumbled something and he held his dagger closer to her neck. Strangely, she leaned closer, as if offering her neck to him. “Louder, I can't hear you” he said, perturbed by her deranged behavior.

Sighting audibly she opened her eyes and stared at him. Her pretty eyes were watery, she could start crying at any minute. Once more he felt the urge to offer consolation, and despite feeling that perhaps he was wrong in his ideas about her he kept the dagger in place.

“Forgive me, Ser” said she softly, with difficulty, holding her tears as best as she could. Her voice and face showed him she was being honest and part of him found relief in that. There was still someone who would be honest to him. Then he remembered the conversation they overheard.

“I demand from you for an explanation, not an apology, wench, has the mud got into your ears?” he insisted. Another would have noticed his voice was trembling, unconvinced. Not Brienne, she was too innocent for that.

“I...” and she shut her eyes closed again, as if she was in terrible agony. A single tear rolled though her cheek. She breathed in an attempt to regain calm and then opened her eyes again before continuing “I swore a vow... to her”

“She is dead, Brienne” by how she had carefully pronounced the word, _her_ , he knew, she was talking about Lady Catelyn.

Brienne shook her head, stubbornly.

“Yes, she is dead, you know that, she died in the hands of that bastard Frey” he said exasperated.

“She's not, Ser Jaime, she came back” she whispered with a trembling voice as another tear followed the same path the first one had. For a second he started to doubt her sanity. Her story about Lord Renly's death had been strange enough yet now, believing that a dead woman could rise from her grave... that was a whole different matter. Yet her eyes were not those of a madwoman. He knew how madness shone in the eyes of those who suffered from it. He knew it far too well. Brienne's beautiful eyes shone in misery and sorrow, there was truth in her words, despite how bizarre it seemed.

“Explain” he said, involuntarily leaning some inches back.

“She came back... somehow... yet she... is not what she used to be... she saw the seal, the letter... the sword... she didn't believe me... they” she swallowed “they took Poddrick, he was so young” and she closed her eyes as tears ran silently “I failed you, Ser”

He observed the tears rolling, falling to her neck and then disappearing under her clothes. After following one of those tears with his eyes he became curious by something hidden underneath her jerkin. Only then he noticed the strange wound in her neck. With his blade he moved the neck of her jerkin so he could observe better. Flustered she moved a hand to cover her wound.

“Why do you have those marks? Did they tried to hang you? Were you threatened? Is that why you promised to kill me?” her hands clenched into fist and she opened her eyes in surprise.

“No, Ser, I wouldn't betray you only to save my own skin” she was conspicuously affronted.

 _Of course she wouldn't, she's too loyal for that_ he thought.

“Then who? Who are you trying to save, Brienne?” he said, strangely calmer now.

“Poddrick, he is so young he accompanied me, us, despite how I explained him it was going to be hard, he wanted to help me find Sansa” she said, also finding some calm in her confession.

“Us?” asked him, suspicious about the meaning behind that word.

“Yes” said she nervously “another joined me, he was probably only interested in the reward, tough”she said dismissively.

“So you pretend to save these two by killing me? Are they so important to you?” he said, feeling a renewed increase of anger. “Who are they?”

“I didn't” she shook her head desperately “I didn't... I don't want to kill you”

Despite all, he believed her. The way she said that last word had stirred something inside him. Her voice had been soft, almost like a caress.

“Then what were you plotting?” he kept asking, despite his odd reaction to her.

She shook her head “I don't know yet” replied she in a small voice.

He glared her in silence for some seconds and then noticed there was part of the information he was still intrigued about.

“Who are they, to you?”

“Pod is a good boy, he's young, he's innocent, he shouldn't die” said she stubbornly.

“I'm not interested in that one, who is the other?” for some reason, he had a strange urge to know.

Fidgeting in nervousness, she looked somewhere else “He is just someone I know”

Jaime didn't know why her behavior annoyed him so. The fact that she was so flustered only talking about this man and giving him so little information irritated him in an incredible measure. There was much about her he ignored, she had been betrothed before after all.

“Is he your betrothed, your lover?” he said without reflecting on his words.

Her eyes widened in surprise and hurt “No, Ser, I have neither a betrothed nor a lover”

“Then where do you know him from? What is he to you?” insisted he. Why would that interested him? He couldn't tell, he just had to know.

She looked confused “He was one of Lord Renly's soldiers, he was.... unkind yet now he seemed to regret his past actions” she said with doubtfulness in her voice.

“What did he do?” _What does this have to do with me?_ yet he held his breath waiting for her answer.

“Ser...” she shook her head again.

“What did he do?” he insisted.

“He...” she doubted again then continued “started a bet, Ser, about me, he wasn't alone, many entered the bet, Lord Tarly found out and ended the bet” confessed her with difficulty.

Jaime was burning with rage “And now? Do you wish for him to win that bet? Is that it?” she reddened and he rejoiced in upsetting her.

“No, Ser, that is not my intention, what I intend is to save Pod” she said in anger, no longer crying.

Though she seemed like she would very much like to do so, she didn't punch him. In fact she allowed him to keep threatening with his dagger when she could easily overpower him. He knew that guilt was what held her into place, not his blade. Even when the reasons of her betrayal seemed clearer to him, he still wanted to hurt her. He remembered another part of that strange conversation and found leverage for further attack.

“What was that about you being my whore, wench? I really need you to clarify that to me” he said maliciously.

Her face grew redder than before “I am surprised about that myself, Ser” said she staring decidedly at her feet.

“No, you do, so speak” he insisted.

Obviously hurt by his question, she bit her lip.

“These days, they call any woman a whore, Ser” she replied after some minutes.

If those men had captured her, she had sure suffered enough, yet he kept wanting to push her. To make her snap.

“Didn't they mention something about you calling my name?” he whispered as he came closer to her.

Her mouth fell open and then she closed it, but no other sound than a surprised gasp came from her. Again, she shut her eyes and lowered her head in shame.

There was a loud clank as the dagger fell to the ground. He reached her face with his good hand and caressed her cheek. She opened her eyes in shock and her lips parted a little. His hand trailed to her neck and then he opened another button to observe her wound better. She was holding her breath and observing him with curiosity.

That ruined cheek, that ruined neck... all her pain... he suddenly felt he was the one who had caused it by giving her such an impossible task. Sending her alone had been irresponsible, he shouldn't have done that. He knew of the perils of the road, he had lost a hand and she almost lost her maidenhead in a similar journey after all. It was unfair that such an honest woman like her would have to suffer that much abuse from others, and now he was also verbally abusing her. He felt dirty for his actions. And a sudden fear filled him.

“Apart from these wounds? Have they hurt you somewhere else? Have they...” suddenly he found it hard to ask that question, yet he forced himself because he needed to know, to confirm his doubts “Has someone forced you-?”

She reddened once more and her eyes grew wide in surprise but she shook her face. He sighted in relief. Nevertheless, he felt incredibly guilty to have put her in such peril.

“Forgive me Brienne, I shouldn't have said those things” he whispered, his eyes still in the wound of her neck.

“Ser Jaime...” she said sighting.

“Jaime, call me Jaime” said he locking her eyes with his. Unexpectedly, he felt he had lost all air in his lungs. Her neck was warm, he remembered that she was always warm, even in his dream. In spite of her treason, she was still the only one who believed in his honor, who cared enough about him to risk her life for him. The marks on that cheek and that neck were proof enough. Slowly, he caressed her neck while he trailed the way towards her ruined cheek. Gingerly he touched that wound.

She held her breath but let him touch it. _I shouldn't have left you go on that journey alone_ he thought, feeling remorseful. He could imagine her reply if he said that, she would probably be offended that he wouldn't trust in her. He smiled and she was perplexed by him. Her surprise grew even more when he touched her lips with his thumb. He didn't know why was he doing that, he just wanted to. Had probably wanted to do that for a long time.

“Ser-”

“What did I tell you, Brienne? Call me Jaime” and he crushed her lips with his. She trembled then gasped as he placed his hand behind her face to bring her closer and his arm sneaked to her waist to push her body to his.

Her arms and hands were comically extended to his sides in surprise, but slowly they landed on his back and she embraced him just as fiercely as he was holding her. Her lips replied clumsily to his assault and he felt his cock growing hard. He hadn't been with a woman in months, he no longer had a lover. Even then he wasn't expecting to feel such urge to be with her. From all the women he knew she was the less feminine. Yet she was the one that knew him best, that cared about him, the one that would stay by his side. It dawned on him, he wanted her, had probably wanted her for longer than he cared to admit. Surprisingly lustful about Brienne, he pushed her to the ground and she yielded to his pressure. She let him guide her until her back was in contact with the earth.

Being on top of her made him bolder, he pushed past her lips with his tongue and found hers. She moaned in response and he started thrusting against her with his pelvis. His inept hand opened her jerkin in a painfully slow manner. Her hands tightened her hold as she felt his hand freeing her of that piece of cloth. Beneath it she had a tunic yet he could feel her muscles and body as he pressed the fabric with his hand. He was specially considerate in the amount of attention he gave her scarce breasts. Despite how small they were he was elated by the feel of her. He planted kisses on her cheek, her neck, her collarbone and then over the fabric of her tunic until he reached her breast and he sucked. Even though the fabric was in the way he still felt how they stiffened when he placed his mouth on top of them.

“Jaime” she breathed and arched her back as he sucked once more though the fabric. Frantically, his hands trailed to her stomach and down towards her tights, towards the juncture in her legs. Then he pulled her tunic in desperate attempt to touch her skin. After ungainly removing her tunic from under her breeches, he was finally being able to caress her skin. The air around them was cold and humid, as a result of the recent rain, but Brienne's skin was warm.

When his hand finally managed to sneak underneath her tunic, she let a loud exhalation escape her lips.

Jaime rejoiced in her reactions to his touch. He hadn't know before yet he needed her approval, her acceptance. Desperately. His hand eagerly stroked her warm skin, from stomach to breast and while he caressed one nipple with his tongue through the fabric, he caressed the other with his hand

She tossed her head to the side and moaned audibly. Her hearth was drumming and she shivered under his touch. One of her hands found its way to his hair and stroked it eagerly. His hand sneaked back to her stomach and she gasped as it continued further down, underneath her breeches and in between her tights. To his surprise he found her folds already wet, his finger opened them and caressed them. It was one of the worst performances he had given in his life. He was unused to using this hand to touch himself, let alone another. Yet as he attempted to touch her appropriately she flinched and moaned. She was a maid, so she knew no better, even his foolish attempts were exciting for her. Her wetness, moans and her embrace excited him so he started thrusting against her with increasing haste.

"Jaime, gods, Jaime" she whispered in a frenzied tone. He couldn't hold himself any longer. It had been so long since the last time he had been in a similar situation... he removed his hand from underneath her breeches and released his cock from his captivity. It barely touched Brienne's warm stomach when it spilled its contents over her. He collapsed on top of her, placing his head on the hollow of her neck

It had definitely been his worst performance. He hadn't even managed to give her enough pleasure to reach climax. He hoped she could give him another chance in the future so that she could actually experience a real peak. If they had any future ahead of them.

He felt terribly ashamed of himself, not only had he reached his peak too fast but he had spent himself on top of her. He hoped she would not be upset with him for that.

They spent some minutes in silence, both attempting to calm their panting.

Once he manage to control his breathing he finally found the courage to speak. He kissed her neck and whispered in her ear

"Forgive me, Brienne, this didn't went as expected" he smiled but as he turned to see her face he froze. She was staring at the sky with eyes of one that had suffered a great loss and was confused about it. That expression was worrisome.

Placing his hand on her face, he moved her chin so she would see him.

"Brienne, are you hurt? I swear you are still a maiden... I wouldn't... I wasn't even planning this. Forgive me if I hurt you"

Since his maiming he had bedded Cersei only once. And he hadn't even caressed her lower lips then. Not only had he lost his sword hand, he had lost the hand that knew how to please as well. He feared he had hurt her with his inept caresses. Yet she shook her head while failing miserably at smiling.

"Are you sure Brienne, are you sure you are not injured?" he demanded, still worried.

Her lips parted and it seemed she was about to say something but she kept fighting with the words in her mind. He patiently waited for her mind to organize her confused thoughts.

"No, Ser Jaime, I am not hurt" she said, awkwardly.

Such reply ached him more than a slap would.

Why would she keep calling him Ser? It was unnerving.

"Brienne, are you angry at me? Upset, annoyed?" he insisted.

"No, Ser" she said, blinking in confusion

"Then drop the _Ser_ , I told you, call me Jaime" he begged.

"But Ser... I confessed my dishonesty to you... I don't understand... what happened..." said she, still too ashamed to be able to speak about it.

"It made me a happy man, yet I understand if you wish to never repeat it" He couldn't fathom what made him say that but he knew it was true. He wanted her, it was true, yet he respected her as well. Nevertheless, part of him really hoped she wanted him as well. She had to, she had kissed him as well, hadn't she?

The look she gave him was a clear indication of how confused and overwhelmed she was by their recent activities. It seemed she couldn't still clearly understand it yet a thought seemed to be nagging at her mind and she finally found the courage to pronounce it out loud.

"Why... why did you kiss me? Why did you..." she was unable to finish her question yet he knew what she meant.

Caressing her face tenderly while he drowned in her blue eyes, he sighted. Such innocence... She held her breath, expectantly.

"I wanted to, I have been wanting to for long now" he confessed. She frowned in disapproval.

"Don't mock me, Ser" she replied, slightly annoyed.

"I'm not, it's the truth, I swear it" he insisted. She was confused once more

"Why?" she asked softly..

"I want you" he confessed again.

She was puzzled by his honesty.

Her mouth opened and closed several times, in futile attempts to formulate a question that would never leave her lips.

"Honestly, is it so hard to believe, that I could want you?" he finally asked.

She looked at him as if he had just asserted that they could easily find a flying cow.

"I want you and you want me, how can you find enough courage in yourself to fight 3 men at the same time yet you fail at confronting just one? The one that trusts you?" _The one that cares about you_ he thought but he wouldn't say that, she could misinterpret that.

"Ser Jaime, I..." mumbled her.

“Please Brienne, call me Jaime" and he kissed her once more, just to prove her the truth of his words. It startled her yet she yielded once more to the pressure of his lips.

As he left her lips he analyzed her eyes with special care. There was still some trace of doubt in there but mostly it was filled with hope.

It gladdened him in an impressive measure

"Se-" she swallowed hard then continued "Jaime” she whispered. “Jaime" said she once more, as if trying to make sure she got it right. The warmth he felt in his belly was unlike any other feeling he had ever experienced.

"Jaime, I..." said she swallowing again, finding that words could be hard. Words always seemed hard to the stubborn wench.

She looked tentatively to his lips and bit hers. Unexpectedly, he found that simple gesture quite alluring in its simplicity. He was about to press his lips to hers when he felt her hand on the back of his head, it pushed him towards her and she kissed him hard.

He couldn't blame her. Actions are sometimes easier than words.

Tomorrow they could be foes again, tonight they could dream of being anything they wanted.  

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly to release steam, but all comments and ideas would be greatly appreciated!


End file.
